El Hospital Part Deux

After waking up in the recovery room, it wasn't long after that I was brought to my penthouse suite I mean hospital room on the 6th floor. I was the 2nd occupant to the room, the first to be my new BFF Trisha who also had her gallbladder taken out. Because Trisha got there first, she had the nice window view. I must admit, I was a little jealous. However, I had it a little darker which was nicer for sleeping. I had my mom go into the restroom and take a picture. At least I have that to hold on to

The next thing I remember was being ridiculously hungry. I had visions of hamburgers and pizza. However, the nurse had another idea. I had a choice of Jell-o and popsicles. Oh come on! Well I chose my red Jell-o and had me a red popsicle. I'm sure the resulting lip stain was some-kind-of-wonderful.

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About an hour later, I was still pretty hungry and was thankfully graduated to semi-solids like ice cream. Vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate? Ummm hellooo, chocolate please. I was then told by the nurse that I was doing well and would have the option to go home that night. Trisha was having a worse go of it than I was. You see, when they do a laparoscopic abdominal surgery, they fill your abdominal cavity with gas so they can see the organs better. Thankfully I didn't have an after effects from that, while she, definitely did. I told the nurse I would think about it. Normally I am all for the "be all you can be" attitude, but I was feeling a bit vulnerable with one less organ and decided that I would stay the night. Trisha said was happy to hear that she wouldn't be the only wuss in the room. Wait what?

The next hurdle to get over was using the restroom. I won't detail the chronicles of that journey, but let's just say that trying to get out of bed when you have been forbidden the use of your abdominal muscles, is quite difficult. And it seemed almost sadistic that they kept making me drink water and pumping me with fluids. Seriously?! Plus it seemed as though Trisha and I had to use it at the same time.

I soon met the night nurse Rose. Rose was my new BFF because Rose was the one that showed me how to get out of bed with minimal pain. Thank you Rose! Rose and I then went for a stroll around the nurse's station (another requirement before being let free to roam about the country). With my new found freedom, I was able to use the restroom across the hall which meant that I didn't have to wait for the nurses to go. Yippee! (yes there are some details I'm leaving out, but they're for your own good. Trust me.)

I finished the night attempting to eat graham crackers and falling asleep to HGTV... or so I thought. I was woken up every two hours by the other night nurse who incessantly wanted my blood pressure, temperature, and pulse. How's anyone supposed to sleep around here? The nerve.

By morning I was allowed to eat real food since I did so well with the graham crackers. Oh goodie! I ordered me some oatmeal with brown sugar, pears, and a piece of banana bread. I could get used to breakfast in bed. :) Shortly after the nurse reminded me again that I was free to go. I took the hint, declined the wheelchair, and walked off into the sunset. Eat your heart out John Wayne.

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Five is the Lonliest Number that You'll Ever Do

I've been stabbed 5x's. What happens when you get stabbed 5x's? Well, if it's not on purpose, hopefully our wonderful EMT's of this world will be able to rescue you from the grips of death.

www.loqu.com

In my case, it was voluntary... well to some degree. This past Thursday I had elective surgery to have my gallbladder out. I had battled with a severe cold the whole week leading up to the surgery. I'm convinced I had a sinus infection, but I never got it checked out. (I'm not normally an advocate for the "screw-it-I'll-get-better-on-my-own" mantra, but after several doctor visits and co-pays with my gallbladder issue, I figured I'd dose up on the Musinex and give the cold the proverbial finger.)

When I got to the hospital, I was sent up to the "surgical day care" center. I'm going to give that mental image a moment.... It was a place where you check-in, get nekked, and put on the Johnny. However, it was painted with clouds and vines and white-picket fences. Way to go Elliot. Way to go. There were three bays which were occupied with two other patients. As I got myself situated, I learned that my other two compadres were also having their gallbladders out. Apparently it was a day for the gastroeterological surgeon. (Then I wondered what happened to all of the discarded gallbladders... I still don't know.)

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The nurse came and put the IV in (thankfully a whole lot more skillfully than the ER nurse at the CMC... I was done looking like a heroine addict thank you very much). I had brought a book with me because of the lag time between my arrival and my actual surgery. What I thought was going to be "light reading" ended up being a book on the Holocaust and Nazi Germany. Great way to get your mind off of death and destruction... yeah, not so much. Being so close to the other patients, I heard things like "no running for the next two months", "you'll get back to work after about 2 weeks", "no lifting over 15 lbs for at least 3 weeks"... ACK! That can't be true!

As the time neared I started getting more nervous. The nurse came one last time and hooked my IV up to this small bag with the "sleepy drug." I was getting a little teary as they started wheeling me out and as I was brought in to the OR, I was told it was going to be a little cold. I responded, "yeah it is kinda cold in here".... zonk!

Then I woke up an hour and a half later in the recovery room with 5 "stab wounds." I was unbelievably tired and incredibly sore. I was hoodwinked in that I didn't realize there would be a breathing tube down my throat. I mean they gotta do what they gotta do, but for the next two days I had the voice of a pack-an-hour smoker.

On that note, I will say... to be continued.

I'm Sorry, What?

In looking for pictures of the Cake Boss, I came across this lovely little number. I think it should be added to Cake Wrecks. Enjoy!

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Blast You Mother Nature

So I've been sick, with a cold, on top of my gallstones... and today I heard that the weather was supposed to be nice. I looked up on weather.com what the temperature outside may be on this sunny Saturday and I saw that it was a high of 50! The current temp said 48. I thought to myself, (and apparently I think like the cake boss on TLC) "it's go time baby!"

www.tvdramaqueen.ca

I laced up my Champion city sneakers, donned my derby cap (my favorite new addition to my wardrobe) and fake Aviators, and took off up "the Hill" (known as Union St.). It was a beautiful day and nothing was going to stop me. About half-way up the hill I began to notice there were some incredibly dark clouds up ahead. I thought to myself, weather.com didn't say anything about rain, so it'll probably pass by. Plus to turn back would mean that I didn't get my much needed exercise. And then... there was hail. Now, this situation isn't all that great if you are feeling well, but given my lack of full health, I couldn't really run to get out of it for fear of dislodging a stone, and I also couldn't run due to the lack of lung function that comes with a head cold.

So I walked, briskly, small hail falling on my head, then really wet snow flakes, and then a nice drizzle. It was as if Mother Nature was laughing in my face. I gave it the proverbial middle finger and walked on. See I knew something that maybe Mother Nature didn't. New England weather doesn't care much for it's Mum and changes it quite often. And so, once I reached my destination... Subway (Eat fresh.) the weather was once again sunny. Ha! Take that!

Tomorrow, I think I'll stick to the gym. Much safer there.