DO OVER!

Being a child allows you to play child-like games. Foursquare, kickball, double-dutch, etc.... you get the point. Sometimes the games are made-up and the rules are nothing short of a well played Mozart symphony (run 6 steps, turn left, jump twice, spin 3 times, and then sprint to the edge of the playground). Other times, the games are straight forward... like tag... pretty hard to mess that one up.

However, there is the inevitable time where one of the rules will not be followed. Sometimes on purpose, then again, sometimes not. Or there may be a time when the kick ball pitcher rolls a bad ball. What is the usual response of the offender? DO OVER!

I have found that my stance on nutrition, or lack there of, has had this sort of approach over the last few weeks. You see, after going through a bout of anxiety, then a week's vacation, then a birthday, my opportunities to say DO OVER! have been many. Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but my point is that there has to be some point that you say, enough is enough. Even kids know when someone is taking advantage of the "do over" mentality. The offender is usually met with alot of "na-uh's" and "you just had one's".

My challenge to you and to myself, make the DO OVER's count. Yes, take the new day by the horns, learn from the previous day, and move on. Capice? :)

Have You Met My Friend Howard?

In the words of the band Jars of Clay... "I am the king (queen in my case) of excuses. I have one for every selfish thing I do." I know that previously this blog has been about fitness and health, but as I continue on my journey, there is more to being physically healthy than working out at the gym. With another recent bout of anxiety, it has dawned on me that there is a need to be "wholly healthy"; mind, body, and spirit.
Lately, in regards to physical health, I have been using the excuse, "oh it's my birthday" in a few days so it's ok... or "oh that's ok I'll just go to the gym and work it off". Here lies the problem. I don't feel like my normal self. I feel sluggish and lethargic so the thought of going to go work out is not really on the forefront of my mind. When did this happen? When did the girl who could do anything, go after anything and accomplish it, settle for second best?
I'm not sure. But for now, I will try not to continually set myself up for failure. I will allow myself to be happy and not let sabotage... here on out called Howard... get in my way. Howard, you're goin' down.

Confession Friday?

My how time flies when you're so busy you don't know up from down. Wait, that's not how that saying goes...

It's been almost 9 months since my last post. I feel like this could be an episode of E! True Hollywood Story's "Where are they now?" Well, I have some good news, and some bad news. The bad news first? Ok, here goes. The bad news is that I'm still addicted to sugar and all things good and plentiful. I have gained almost 20 lbs since my last post... 155.1 as of now. I think in total I have probably lost about 300 lbs... gain 5 lose 6, gain 3 lose 2, etc. etc. etc. Once you introduce sugar in, you crave it, and want just as much (if not more) the next day. Just say no! Winter really stinks you know? I have especially missed the fresh air runs. (I did try one recently on a warmer day, but was almost hit by a car... sticking to the gym thank you very much.)

That's enough bad news. The good news? I have completed two triathlons :) The first was a great one for beginners called "Give Peace a Tri" It was in Surry, NH and it took me just over an hour to do. Felt like I just did one of my regular workouts :) (aside from running a 5k in my bike shoes... oy vey). The second one was for the YMCA at Clough State Park in Goffstown, NH. That one was about twice the distance of the first one, and took me just about twice as long :) BUT! I finished it. I have also purchased my personal training materials to get certified. It's been a little tougher than I thought. I had started studying in December, but haven't progressed as quickly. I will be starting the reading plan over and doing a little each day. Everything in moderation :)

More good news? I have met someone :) (It's amazing what happens when you get your life in order) When you love yourself, you find the capacity to be able to care about someone else. It's a great feeling. The other good thing about it is that we challenge each other to stay fit.... well as much as we can from 2,700+ miles away. I would encourage you to have someone to be accountable to. It definitely helps!

Well, I'm not sure what kind of blog this is going to turn into... but it feels good to write again. So, until next time.

Peace out.

Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth WEDNESDAY

I did it! I actually made an entry on the right day. Granted it's two weeks late, but yeah. It's Wednesday. I have had a pretty good two weeks... oh that's a load of crap. The last two weeks have been super difficult. I have been mentally and physically exhausted. The numbers on the scale were among 140-142 for about 3 weeks. Now, mind you, I'm used to losing around a pound a week. I was running about 24+ miles a week and eating the way that I was supposed to. It just wasn't happening; I felt like a "mouse on a wheel." It all culminated on Sunday when after a weekend of hardly working out (not on purpose), I felt so awful that I took off on a 2 mile run in the heat. I felt like I was going to burst into tears the whole time. (and by now you're saying, ok Becky get to the point, this is depressing)

The point is... fitness can sometimes suck! Ok, that might not be quite it... the point is... you have to keep going no matter how hard it gets. The point is perseverance. During this time, I was also trying to remind myself of what I had already accomplished; to look at the bigger picture. It's good to have milestones along the way. I recommend keeping a journal or keep something concrete like pictures... to be able to refer to when times are tough. For me it's been pictures... every month I've taken a new photo. I have also kept one pair of shorts from my previous weight and let me tell you, that is a motivator!

So with that, highs and lows:

High: Someone telling me they've joined the gym because of me. Several people have actually told me this, and it never gets old. I'm happy that my life can be an example to others.

Low: I'm going to have to go with my aforementioned meltdown. But I'm good now. Promise :)

Lastly... weight...
137.7 (yep... 130's baby!) :)

Truth Delayed...

Man, not having internet readily available puts quite a damper on updating. Although, my ridiculous schedule has something to do with that too... but that's for another time.

Just finished a soccer game. Loved it... for a couple reasons really... 1) I get my workout in 2) it's competitive 3) it's not just running for the sake of running 4) it's FUN! (the fun factor can go up or down depending on how many times I've gotten hit in the head that game...) I encourage you to get involved in team sports. Even as an adult, they're still valuable. Camaraderie and competition is something that helps you to vent and have fun. (not necessarily in that order :)

Don't have too much time tonight so I'm going to get right to H&L's.

High: I was looking in the mirror the other day, and I was happy... I thought to myself, if I was someone else, and I hadn't seen me since last year, I would not recognize myself. I feel like I've taken control of my life... that in itself is an AWESOME feeling! I've also been eating really well... something else I'm proud of.

Low: Though I have taken control of my life, I've been running myself ragged. I have been neglecting sleep and that is something that is also necessary to a healthy mind and body.

Note: Certification materials to be purchased in the next month. Here's to getting certified!

141.5 ... -4lbs... 2weeks not too shabby (let me tell you, it's getting hard!)

A Revelation...

I have come to the realization that when you lose 108lbs. and you try to swim, you're not as buoyant as you used to be. Lack of buoyancy = sinking. Sinking is NOT GOOD when it comes to triathalons and swimming. Thankfully I have a wonderful trainer who's teaching me to breathe and swim at the same time. I'm feeling a bit behind as the triathalon is now two months away. Two months! Crazy!

Saturday I had a dream that I ate pancakes, ice cream, and a few other things that were not in my list of eating. I remember being SO disappointed in myself that I couldn't keep it together for another weekend. Then I woke up. I was so re-leaved! You don't even know how frustrated I have become... I don't know what's worse, being so far away from goal that you don't think you'll ever get there, or being so close that every pound is so much work! Ok, overweight is definitely worse, but still. Ugh!

Another thing about cravings... I realized that I'll always have them. Say I go to IHOP to get the chocolate chip pancakes I'm craving... I'll be satisfied.... for today. Tomorrow, I may want pizza... chocolate cookies the day after that. So the trick is... how to satisfy the craving, without adding 1,000's of calories to your day. Chocolate chip pancakes... maybe make your own using wheat flour, with cinnamon, egg whites, and a little chocolate protein powder... then in a saucepan use strawberries and Truvia instead of syrup... Pizza can be done using a half of a whole wheat or multi-grain pita, low-fat mozzarella, and sauce (making your own using a food processor or blender would be even better) The internet is a great resource for recipes and high calorie alternatives!

So I hope my little rant helped... we all need a little rant sometimes. :)

Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth Wednesday

As you may have noticed, I have unintentionally become one of those people who starts a blog, and then doesn't keep up with it. What can I say? Life happens. I got busy, and I've learned that it's all about prioritizing. So I took some time off from writing to focus on things in my life. Alot has happened in the last month; the most difficult being moving back home with mom and dad. I say most difficult for a few reasons. First, I haven't truly lived at home since I moved out to go to college at 18. I did spend a few months here and there, but nothing permanent. It's not that I don't feel independent, it's that I feel like I have to have some accountability. Second, I'm not in control of the food that comes in the house. Granted I did live with a roommate and were things that weren't on my eating plan in the house, but I didn't buy them, nor did any one in my family, so they were off limits. But now, I'm faced with my father's sweet tooth, and my mother's love for pizza. Snacks abound and the requests to go out to eat are plenty. Hey, who wants to turn down a free meal? My choices are all that much harder, and I don't know about you, but during the warm summer months, all I can think about is ICE CREAM. And third, I don't like the chaos that is moving. It has been nice to go through things and get rid of stuff I truly don't need, but all of that takes time, and time has been scarce lately. But there are certainly benefits too... paying off bills, a closer commute to work, free cable :) And a mom that says, "Need anything at the store?" (protein bars always seem to be in short supply)

In addition to moving, one of my employees left, and so I have had to put in "overtime" (I use quotes because I'm salary and I don't get paid for the lovely extra hours I spend there). Couple that with working out alot, church activities, and a very minute social life... you can see why blogging became difficult. I've also gone through some emotional stuff... it hit me one day just how much weight I've lost and I started tearing up. I'm a new person (and I've lost one too! :)

One of the phenomenons I have noticed with losing weight is that random people will come up to me and say either a) You have to help me! or b) I've lost (insert number) of pounds! It's so odd. Like I guess I never realized how much people look to other people for affirmation and support. It only makes me want to get my certification sooner :)

There is so much more I can write, but I'll do highs and lows for now and hopefully be able to write more tomorrow.

High: Two weekends ago I went away to a cabin that I went to about two years ago. When I went two years ago, I was experiencing panic attacks from a situation that happened in my life, and was a complete mess. This year, was completely different. Not only did I NOT have panic attacks, I ran around the lake which ended up being 8.3 miles! My longest distance yet. I felt inc charge of my life. It's amazing how much can change.

Low: This weekend I made some pretty terrible food choices. I had gotten small freedom from my trainer to treat myself to some ice cream for moving and took advantage of it (whether subconsciously or not)... it ended up with a 24 hour period of cake, ice cream, ribs, spinach lasagna, more cake, more ice cream, a Reese's PB cup, bison burger, sweet potato fries, a part of a brownie sundae... yeah, I really had my cake and ate it too. I kind of scared myself in the sense that it was so easy for me to do it. Accountability is so vital to any type of weight loss, myself included.

And now for the weight. I was at 143.5 prior to my weekend binge.... but I am now 145.5. And for the first time learned that I am 21% body fat... 1% away from being considered an athlete! :)

Up next... start training for the triathalon.